The Rain Against My Skin
by Beckon
Summary: There were answers he needed to know but they were given time that he didn't have right now.  Spoiler for chapters 484/485


**A/N: Moment of truth here: I stopped reading Bleach after the Winter War arc/Aizen battle because I personally thought it was getting ridiculous afterwards. That's just my own opinion on it, but then my friend brought up this new chapter and needless to say... that was not necessary. I feel a little ridiculous myself to say that it's upsetting but at this point, I'm too used to my favorite characters being killed. I don't plan on keeping up with this new arc either but I thought it was worth to type something for Chojiro.**

Stillness.

All around her was absolutely stillness. No movement, no sounds... it would almost seems as though no one was breathing either. For a brief moment, she was afraid the painful thunder of her heart beating inside of her chest would break the fragile moment; she was afraid the scattered, broken shards of her thoughts would be heard outside of her mind and give away everything she was trying to hide. Fingers pressed tightly together, nearly suffocating and breaking the fragile rose she held between her hands.

She was trying...

Trying was an understatement here, fighting would be a more appropriate word... but even then, she was losing; this was a battle she was all too familiar with and yet it proved to be more and more difficult with every turn. The physical aches and pains were already beginning to settle in, she could feel her heart turning heavy and every life-sustaining beat came slower than the last. If she had her way, for just this moment, she kind of wished the next beat wouldn't come... maybe then she would never have to go through something like this again.

But then everyone else would have to deal with something like this...

"He served Soul Society well, I think that's something we can all agree on..."

She closed her eyes and tried to keep herself from becoming lost in the moment; she wanted to listen but while the words would try to serve their purpose... they only reminded her of this cold reality. She didn't want to be a part of it anymore, but the Society still needed her.

It needed him more though.

_What happened Sasakibe... why did you have to leave us?_

* * *

><p><em>"I brought you some flowers."<em>

_She looked up from the thin magazine Isane had given to her earlier and felt herself smile lightly at the sight of the white-haired man standing in the doorway of her hospital room; true to his word, a bouquet of miscellaneous flowers were wrapped tightly together and tucked into the bend of his arm. "That wasn't necessary..."_

_"With all due respect, it wouldn't matter if they were necessary or not." he started before he slowly moved to step inside; moving close enough to her bed side to gently hand over the neatly wrapped bouquet. "A lady always deserves flowers and after everything that's happened... I felt like the motion was vital to your recovery."_

_Chuckling lightly, she reached forward and took the bouquet from his hands before she pulled it closer against her; the sweet scents that drifted from the flowers were almost overwhelming but therapeutic just the same. "You know, most people would've been happy with it 'well I already paid for them' kind of answer."_

_"I fail to see how that's an appropriate response, Hinamori."_

_"Thank you, Chojiro. I love them."_

* * *

><p>At any other time, Captain Unohana's soothing voice would have been a comfort to hear.<p>

But at this moment... the soothing words only felt sharp and cold.

The Society had mapped out its uniforms to be black and for years they had been, but standing out here like this... it all felt different; their uniforms blurred in together to form just one mass it seemed. They all shared the same, stoic expression; the same tightly pressed lips and unmoving eyes. It was like if they all just stood still right here and let the moment pass, maybe they could all wake up from this collective nightmare and everything would be okay.

That was still a possibility right?

Please... let this be a bad dream...

* * *

><p><em>"Captain? What are you still doing up at this hour?"<em>

_The white-bearded man glanced at the question and nodded briefly at his equally awake Lieutenant before he turned his sights back to the open scene in front of him. The midnight moon brightly hung above them and provided the only source of light at this moment- sans the small candle the second man had carried with him out here. A quiet breeze moved with the still night and stirred the tops of a few trees that lingered about; the open end porch provided a suitable place for deep thoughts and sought-after solitude. "The answer isn't really important... certain thoughts have decided to cross my path tonight, that's all. I could ask you the very same question though."_

_The porch creaked slightly as the Lieutenant walked across the faded oakwood planks before he carefully sat down a foot or so to his right. "I wish my answer could be something noble like that... unfortunately, it's a minor case of heartburn that has kept me up tonight." he was certain he heard the Captain offer a chuckle at his answer. "If you do not mind, I could keep you company until either the thoughts or heartburn are gone."_

_"That's just fine." Yamamoto assured, watching as a stronger rush of air pushed the trees to bend forwards slightly before they snapped back into place. "When I look out across the Society like this, after all it's been through, I sometimes wonder what the future holds for us."_

_"Regardless of what the future will be... we'll never be taken down. We've risen above the struggles and sorrows that have plagued us all and we've recovered with our senses still intact, with our humanity still threaded together. I have faith in our future."_

* * *

><p>Like a black cloud of movement, everyone carefully lined up to push through the final act of the closing ceremony.<p>

Stilling silence clouded in her chest and even with friends around, everyone felt like a stranger. There was nothing... silent words and empty expressions. How far gone were they? They were still here within Soul Society itself and yet it felt so different. It felt like they were miles away in some kind of foreign country or on some strange land... This was their home, this was where they were supposed to be safe. Yes, that net of safety had been cut once or twice before but it had always been carefully tied back into place; they never experienced a tragedy like this before.

They were scared.

They were vulnerable.

But above all else, they were mourning.

* * *

><p><em>Tired fingers pushed up on the black frames that had slid down from the bridge of his nose and set them back in place. His eyes could barely focus anymore but the forty-six hour shift was completed with every slip of paper signed and every roll of gauze used; this was one of their largest groups of patient, but then again that wildfire from three days ago wasn't the easiest to tame- it was predicted that a large number of people would be injured in it. Still, it didn't stop his body from aching and wishing that the heavy use of energy didn't put such a burden on his tired limbs and half-blinded eyes.<em>

_"How bad is it?" Hanataro questioned, showing up for the new shift._

_"Enough for me to wish you good luck." Yasochika replied, noticing how the shorter man seemed to wince slightly at the answer. All of the Division members coming in for the third shift would certainly need all the luck they could get at this point. Over a hundred people were suffering from second to third degree burns, they would need their bandages frequently changed and ointment reapplied every few hours- that wasn't even mentioning having to monitor for fevers or signs of infections. On second thought, perhaps he had gotten off fairly easy with this case._

_"What's it like in there?"_

_The second question was posed right as he stepped out of the Division Four barracks and it took him a few moments before he could even spot the First Lieutenant. "Ugly."_

_The simple answer was all the Lieutenant seemed to need as he nodded in return. "I apologize. Our Division was a little late in responding to the call... the fire got out of my grasp."_

_"You're a Lieutenant, Chojiro, not a fireman." Yasochika reminded with a brief, tired chuckle as he slowly made his way down the short trio of stairs; one hand pushed through his withering blonde strands and pressed them out of his face. "I'm surprised you were so close to the fires and didn't sustain an injury yourself."_

_"Actually I did get a massive burn across my back when I got caught in a tight spot, it's not all that bad." he replied, waiting for the blond-haired man to pass where he was waiting before he moved to walk at his side. "I figured you guys were busy enough as it is."_

_"That's very considerate of you, but Captain Unohana would be disappointed in us all if we missed a patient who needed healing."_

_"Technically a patient would be someone who was admitted to Division Four."_

_"Don't find loopholes in my statements."_

* * *

><p>The casket was eerily beautiful, she had that much to say.<p>

The black wood was smooth underneath her fingertips as she took her time in feeling how the frame was carefully shaped and curved. It was suiting for someone like him... something hand-crafted for imperfect perfection; something made for one purpose and given a one-of-a-kind design. She could feel her throat close up slightly before she moved to carefully settle the single rose onto the top of the casket; allowing for it to join the growing pile of flowers that each member gave away.

For a moment, she wondered if hers would make any difference...

She didn't want to let the flower go though; it would just be another sign that this reality was happening... that this wasn't something they could all wake up from. Slowly, fingers set the rose down and hesitated before she forced herself to pull away. A stilling coldness seemed to rush through her veins and burn at the tips of her fingers. It was like she was giving a part of herself away in those few seconds... losing a part of her that could never be replaced.

But the line forced itself to continue moving and those ahead of her made quick to break away from the central group to recover from the ordeal. A few of the other Captains ahead of her stood off to the side and didn't even whisper a word to one another. Captain Unohana had her eyes closed as she seemed lost in her own world of thoughts; Captain Shunsui and Captain Ukitake spared a few syllables now and again but never moved from their positions; even Captain Soifon herself appeared lost in the matter and remained isolated from the rest of the group.

"What do we do now?" she had forgotten about Matsumoto's presence until the woman spoke now.

"I don't know." Isane whispered in return, one hand moving to brush aside her silver bangs. "I don't know..."

* * *

><p><em>Crimson tides spilled out and flooded the floorboards underneath him as pain riddled through his body, or whatever was left that he could feel of it. Every struggled breath felt as though it broke more of his shattered ribs that pierced through parts of his sternum; the open cavity that ripped his chest clean of everything inside of it continued to be the most damning injury... it had long since signed his death certificate.<em>

_It was an odd feeling, knowing that you were going to die and there wasn't a damn thing you could do but let the blood escape from your body._

_Let the pain eventually ease away your sanity._

_"I'm sorry... we were ambushed... we didn't have a chance... to defend-"_

_"That doesn't matter now."_

_They both knew._

_There was no sense in trying to recover himself in front of his Captain... the damages were done, his fate was sealed. But to go down like this, there was so much more he could've done and there was more to be done... what if he was needed in the future? Who would replace him? Would they be just as skilled to take over this position... would they serve Captain Yamamoto as well as he had? These were answers he needed to know but they were given time that he didn't have right now._

_His inevitable death was only the start of a new conflict, a new war that he wouldn't be given the honor to fight in._

_It was only to send out a message across Soul Society and for that... it was the only regret he had. To die for the sake of a message that threatened to rip Soul Society off its feet, it was an ugly mark to be thrown across his gravestone._

_He just wanted to find peace in this slaughtered death._

_And even that was ripped away from him._

_"It's been a pleasure... serving you Captain..."_

* * *

><p>And just like that, it would seem like the sky itself was reacting.<p>

Slowly and softly, tiny raindrops splashed against her slender shoulders and turned her attention upward to the darkened clouds above them. It would almost seem like a sign as the first few drops were mere warnings before a heavier wave began to come down. Had this been any other time, everyone would've made a mad dash for the closest body of shelter, but no one moved from their places. Hands gently held themselves out and she felt the rain splash itself over her open palms, easily filling the small folds and crevices of her skin.

_Is it you, Sasakibe? _

"It would seem as though Chojiro wants us all to catch pneumonia." Yasochika remarked calmly just a few feet from her; his fingers reached up and removed the dark frames that always adorned his look. His eyes were closed and he almost seemed to be enjoying the feel of the rain running down his face.

"Thank you." Isane whispered as she moved to push her hands through her hair, holding it back for a brief moment. "... For everything."

They always said talking out loud made it easier to deal with things, no matter how silly or stupid you felt while doing it. Up until now, she had put all her focus on just keeping her composure and not break down in front of everyone; even if they were all feeling the same emotions and wouldn't have judged her any less for the outbreak... she just couldn't do it. At this moment though, she would give anything to say just one last thing before the ceremony departed.

"You helped me heal when everyone else had given up... there's nothing I can say that would give enough thanks for that. Your sacrifice won't be for nothing." Hinamori started, unsure if the trails running down her cheeks were from the rain or tears. "You'll still be with us somehow, right?"


End file.
